Rather Bad Day Today

zzz......today is a rather bad day,first,my asthma,i told my mum about it,and just when i was telling her,the hairdresser suddenly said that it was related to my heart problems,i was like WTH!?,and i said it wasn't,but she insisted,and my mum believed,no amtter how hard i tried to convince her,she won't listen to me,so....today,went to the heart specialist for a checkup,there were a few tests,they stuck electrolytes into your body to measure your heartbeat,and really,it was quite uncomfortable,then you had to run while wearing those to,and while runnig,they would take your blood pressure and stuff,took me 2 and a 1/2 hours to finish it,and turns out?I'm healthy,and it was my asthma problems,and it costed a whopping 750+ dollars,and my mum COMPLAINED,i know,it's expensive and all,but she was the one who insisted,and she complains @_@,i know it's for my sake and all,but chest pains are in no way connected to the heart,that i know......She doesn't even trust me,and neither does my dad,if so,how can they expect me to trust them?

Well,nothing much today,everyone is probrably out studying together,so no outings,well,it is the O levels,that much is to be expected,haha....day by day,my body feels heavier and heavier,and i feel one day,i might just collapse once and for all,i hope that it's just my imagination,that it's stress and all,and that after the O levels,i can finally move on to a brighter future...


There isn't anything that i should expect,should i?After all,in the end,the real me will always be hidden in the darkness amongst the clouds,i have dreams,things i want to achieve,and,well,i suppose things just won't go the way you want it to,i understand that fact,and will get up on my feet with every fall...i'm different,in ways that are neither good nor bad,people always seem to lack something that friends make up for,but,it seems i don't seem to lack that certain something,in other words,without knowing it,i seem to distance myself from others,but on the good side,i can live in some conditions that normal people can't,but in this world,this is a curse,rather than a blessing...Why i help people get together,Why i am able to understand the aspects of life and it's many reasons,maybe it's because i envy that people are able to get together so easily,or maybe just seeing people happy is good enough for me,I was never someone who stays in a group,always watching from a distance....haha,i suppose that's just the way i am,even if i want to change...i wonder...