19/08/09

Well,the prelim results were bad,and today was english O level oral examination,i think i did rather well this time,hope i can do so in the O levels too,anyways....i know i'm changing,it's becoming obvious,i'm turning back to the me from primary 6.....when i was....well.....rather alone.It's really painful,i don't wanna recall the memories,but i have to,if i want to get good grades for my O levels,part of me still wants to hang out with everyone,but,i just can't,i can't break out of the feeling,it's really quite frustrating,this is precisely why i don't approve people thinking down on themselves,just me taking it all will do,others don't have to think the same way i do and endure what negative feelings come with it,but i wonder,if that's really the right thing to do.I know that i'm distancing from the rest of the people,but i can't help it,can i?I do it subconsciously without knowing why,but,i just feel i don't fit in,heh.....fate plays a funny game,doesn't it.....Just when i found friends,i feel i don't fit in....in a way that i'm just a liability.......just stopping the rest...or others

Thinking twice,this doesn't really make sense,but i'll just take it on,just like how i took on everything else in the past,but i wonder,will i be able to do it....?Reflecting on myself,i have though of many possibilities,why can't i do it?I know,i just can't,i'm too weak,really,feeling like crying but without tears to shed,i really wish that this feeling will dissolve after i finish the O levels......

This World Isn't Perfect,There Is Always A Balance In It,Without It,There Will Be Wars,The One Maintaining The Balance Are The Ones Who Are Willing To Sacrifice Themselves To Bring The Truth,To Take In The Hatred From Both Sides And Crush It,These Are Strong Willed People,Who Are Able To Reduce Themselves To Stepping Stones For Others To Rise Without Feeling The Sense Of Inferiority,Compared To Geniuses Like Einstein,These People Are Needed Much More....