Class Gathering

Alright,Haven't Posted In Awhile....The most memorable event these few days was the class gathering we had yesterday,it was fun,but i think it would've been more fun if it didn't rain,hahaha....anyway,it was raining,unfortunately,butluckily,there was a few shelters,and the shopkeeper who set-up a alcohol shop there was kind enough to allow us to stay in the shelter where their shop was set up.So,we staying in there,talked,played with the sand in there,and....hmm,actually,to be more precise,it was everyone else who was playing,i was playing the DS...

Anyway.....i went for a walk after the rain stopped for abit,then i went to another shelter at another side which was facing the ocean.....it's been so long...since i last saw the ocean and heard the crashing of the waves agains the rocks,the ripples along the coast...yeah,so i sorta released my concentration and stared across the sea,sorta recovering myself.After awhile,i turned around and saw that they were playing volleyball,and.....huu......i didn't want to play,i don't know why,it was like....i can't use words to describe how i felt,but i just wanted to walk around,so i walked around the beach,across and back,all the way being a little absent minded,then i stood and watched the sky,then i felt a presense behind me,i turned and look,then i saw yong chuan,lol,the he shouted "Ah!",the he walked over and say "Why you so emo" or something along the lines,by the time,they were already playing captain's ball,so he asked me to join,so...yeah,i wasn't of much help,tho,and luckily,i limited my movements,i nearly sprained my ankle,after that i...

It's been a long while....theres many things happening these days,and yesterday,the clique came to my house to celebrate the new year with some gambling,it was fun,and it definitely was a memorable day.We even lao yu sheng with my parents,pity some of them had to leave early,though Eileen went home to lao yu sheng,so that can't be helped,after all,family comes first.Jun hui Fiona and Yong Qian missed out on it,though.

Well,Treasuring the moment while i can,i hope that these kind of days will last,but alas,nothing is perfect...

Even though it's the new year,my mood dropped considerably,unlike the past years....there's this particular anger,and....sadness that remains unexplained,perhaps that's what's causing me to feel something's missing all this time,haha....i wonder....why are things always going this way.Seems like life isn't so merciful after all,but then again,this isn't heaven,this is earth,where things are gained by working for it.

Huuu....Seems like things are going crazy here...asthma seems kinda random now,might need to go for a checkup soon,and there's nothing much to do now,this blog is slowly dying...Ah,well,might as well change the background music,looks like....

Haha....Dead Blog,i think

Well,I think this blog will die soon,but,i might as well try my best to revive it,even though i'm a little lazy to recall everything that has happened recently,haha,well,i'm adding a song to this blog,actually,these days are a little dull for me,i keep having the feeling that i STILL haven't done something,like this empty feeling,even with O levels over,hmmm,but i suppose i shall let time pass and see what is it that's causing that.

Most of the time these days,it's been basketball,which isn't bad at all,actually,but other than that,i think that there's nothing much i can do,i might go back to work again,but it's really VERY boring working alone,time passes even slower than when i'm studying,which is actually already terribly slow,haha.....i've been meaning to go learn some things,perhaps now is a good time

Recently,or rather,two months ago,i've been playing a new game that's similar to maplestory,it's fun,surprisingly,the skills are smooth,good,the controls are fluid,and not stuff,unlike maplestory,and there's much more controls involved,rather than just pushing a single button for a few hours,it has a better community than maple,lesser people with an "Almighty" attitude,i've joined a guild,and it makes the game alot more enjoyable

Well,here it is,a little picture of me and a few of my guild members,haha,gonna stop here,then.

It's Over......For Now..

Haven't touched this blog this blog in a long long long long.....LOOOOONG time,haha,since O levels are over,it's become rather relaxing,nothing much to be all whopee about besides from the fact that o levels are over,but,well,the last event that i can recall well is the day of daniel lim's birthday,which is also on the day of my cousin's housewarming party,haha.Went to my cousin's housewarming first for awhile,then after that,my dad took me to my daniel lim's BBQ,it was fun,rather memorable....well,can't really recall alot right now,tired,anyways,now,i'm working,and its rather tiring,i didn't know office work was so hard,my neck is killing me!

Well,O levels are over,i'm not compeltely bored,but i still feel something isn't right.....hmm...wonder what it is.Gonna stop here,don't have much mood to type,hahas.

Coming.....

Well,can't post these days cuz i'm blasted with mock exams and also....the o levels are coming up,well,can't blame the constant exams,can i?Well,i can't really remember these few days,but it's mostly the same,going out to eat with the rest and stuff..ah,well,at least today there's a family gathering,haha,finally.These few days always in a pattern,bad,good,bad,good,wonder if there's anything that's making it this way,some days,i would feel down,some days,i feel happy.Maybe it's because of some dreams?

Well,today was E maths paper 2,rather tough,hope i can score well,also,after that,we went to eat,and instead of the planned kopitiam,we went to SKCC,cuz there wasn't any seats,haha,well,but anyway,after that,there wasn't anything interesting,well,gonna stop here,leaving for my cousin's house!

As The Days Go By And Watching Events Happen....I Start To Think That There Won't Be Any Hope For Me...

Haze.....

Well,today was rather fun,considering that the physics test can be aced if i didn't make all those careless mistakes -_-,that sure boosted my confidence a little,even if i know that the standard of it isn't half of the O levels...i think....lol,okay,well,anyway,i'll skip a little and go straight to the part where everyone decided to go to Natalie's house,sooo,everyone went to Natalie's house and then,well,they explored it,went around,commented,and after awhile,they took out the mahjong table and started to play,i played 1 round,haha,me and jh were waiting on each other's tiles,so we were stuck,during the round i played,Eileen won,since i only played 1 round,i didn't know the rest,but i think Thai Siong won a few rounds too,Junhui And Yong Chuan Too,i think,But,while they were playing mahjong,sean suggested that we play Carrom,and it was Fun-ny,haha,just a little shortform for something Fun and Funny(Lame),Anyways,they were shooting the main disc everywhere,it even hit people,haha,well,i don't feel like describing the events,well,i think those who were there and heard those who were playing Carrom would get a little of the picture....

Well,my body is weakened these few days,by the stupid haze,or by some other unknown cause,but all i know is that if this goes on,i wonder how long i can hold,lol...i mean,i get choked when i breathe in the joss paper smoke,that doesn't normally happen,if i can get my breath stuck by only this,something is very wrong....Haa....Anyways,gonna stop here,rather late...

I see......I finally understand,nothing can change it,with my way of thinking....i'm just being selfish,aren't I....?I mean,how can you open a door when the doorknob is on the other side?No matter how i pray that things might just change even a little....it won't work...will it?Haha...how foolish i was....This wasn't the life that i can live...i have never truly treasured anything....anyone....in the end,i'm just driving myself in circles and going back to the path of loneliness.....even so....i still wonder if i should give up hope....or continue fighting?

Rather Bad Day Today

zzz......today is a rather bad day,first,my asthma,i told my mum about it,and just when i was telling her,the hairdresser suddenly said that it was related to my heart problems,i was like WTH!?,and i said it wasn't,but she insisted,and my mum believed,no amtter how hard i tried to convince her,she won't listen to me,so....today,went to the heart specialist for a checkup,there were a few tests,they stuck electrolytes into your body to measure your heartbeat,and really,it was quite uncomfortable,then you had to run while wearing those to,and while runnig,they would take your blood pressure and stuff,took me 2 and a 1/2 hours to finish it,and turns out?I'm healthy,and it was my asthma problems,and it costed a whopping 750+ dollars,and my mum COMPLAINED,i know,it's expensive and all,but she was the one who insisted,and she complains @_@,i know it's for my sake and all,but chest pains are in no way connected to the heart,that i know......She doesn't even trust me,and neither does my dad,if so,how can they expect me to trust them?

Well,nothing much today,everyone is probrably out studying together,so no outings,well,it is the O levels,that much is to be expected,haha....day by day,my body feels heavier and heavier,and i feel one day,i might just collapse once and for all,i hope that it's just my imagination,that it's stress and all,and that after the O levels,i can finally move on to a brighter future...


There isn't anything that i should expect,should i?After all,in the end,the real me will always be hidden in the darkness amongst the clouds,i have dreams,things i want to achieve,and,well,i suppose things just won't go the way you want it to,i understand that fact,and will get up on my feet with every fall...i'm different,in ways that are neither good nor bad,people always seem to lack something that friends make up for,but,it seems i don't seem to lack that certain something,in other words,without knowing it,i seem to distance myself from others,but on the good side,i can live in some conditions that normal people can't,but in this world,this is a curse,rather than a blessing...Why i help people get together,Why i am able to understand the aspects of life and it's many reasons,maybe it's because i envy that people are able to get together so easily,or maybe just seeing people happy is good enough for me,I was never someone who stays in a group,always watching from a distance....haha,i suppose that's just the way i am,even if i want to change...i wonder...